Melon Mail

Searching for Inspiration in all the wrong places?

2009-03-08T04:34:00.000-07:00

So last weekend I went away to Swansea and struggled to enjoy myself. This weekend should have gone better but I just suffered from the sheer Woodbridgeness of it all. It almost feels like every Saturday night has the whole "all this has happened before and will happen again" Battlestar Galactica vibe to it. Plus yesterday I managed to lose my phone and my camera (you'll note they're 2 seperate items!), had my credit card cloned, got blown out by a girl and we got mugged on the rugby field. All in all, not a lot of fun.

This injury is just frustrating me I think. I need to find some new way to blow off steam...

Heck, I'm even considering Internet dating again (a terrifying prospect).

Meloncollie and infinite repeats.

2009-02-22T06:22:00.000-08:00

Ever feel like your life's just on an endless 7 day feedback loop? That's kind of how I feel after the past few days. Frankly I've found myself in the early stages of what I fear may be a minor rut. Wake up, work, go home, mope, go to bed x5. Then, on the weekend, go to the rugby, limp around and complain about not playing, get drunk in town, realise there are no girls, mope, use Sunday to recover, begin again. Only unlike a videogame, there's nothing harder on the next level, it's just like repeating the same game time and time again.

Hmm. It's a dilemma. Luckily, next weekend I'm escaping the confines of the IP12 postcode and hopefully going to Swansea, innit to catch up with the Welsh girls. Ironically on a weekend, where I had about a dozen alternatives, including, Jo's 30th in Ipswich, Laura's birthday in London Village and a boat Cruise on the Broads for Katies birthday. Oh and a houseparty or two as well!

Still, Wales for a six nations weekend with Wales on the for a second consecutive Grand Slam? Allez les bleus is all I can say!

Sunday awesomeness.

2009-02-15T09:56:00.000-08:00

Hmm. It's been a funny old week in many ways. I've injured my knee - it feels like ligaments so am 'off rugby' for a goodly few weeks. I should have known my body was gonna give in eventually.

That said, went with the boys yesterday. We won, a rare away win! There was then some extreme randomness and lunacy in the pub. Apparently there was a punch-up but I was safely tucked up in bed by then. Having gotten rather tipsy on the way back. Today is Sunday and so far it's been awesome. Got up, made up spurious rumours about my mates with Eddie, knee felt easier too which was a bonus! Then headed up to the Kings' to pay my bar tab (which I had assumed would be huge). Instead, it was £2.50 for a bowl of chips. Ummm.... So I had to buy a roast dinner to get up to the £10 to stick it on card. Embarrasing. Anyway, now I'm at the folks, waiting for another roast dinner and reading Classic Comics. Happy days!

A Saturday off. What on earth do I do today?

2009-02-07T01:40:00.000-08:00

So it's a Saturday morning, I've literally just put down my bowl of rice krispies, am listening to the still fantastic after approximately 47,000 listens, Bon Iver - seriously, as averse as I am to encouraging mass consumerism, buy this album! In fact, buy anything on the Jagujaguwar label - there are some amazing acts on it!

Anyway, I'm sat here and it's weird. There's no pressure, there's no nerves. The intensity of the Saturday morning just isn't here because there's no game to pace up and down in advance of, no players to contact in a panic saying to make sure they know about the meet, no kit bag to prepare (I get a bit OCD on Saturdays) and I am completely lost! So far today, I've caught up on some reading (finished my re-reading of Hickman's the Nightly News and finally re-read the Long Halloween).

I suppose I've gotta do my ref's exam at some point today ahead of tomorrow but you know, there's no pressure. My most difficult decision is where I'm going to watch the England game this afternoon! It's either at the club (I'm probably gonna 'direct traffic' for the 3's this arvo), in the Cherry Tree with Amy and co, or in the Mariners with the boys. One thing's for sure and I can't talk about this with hopefully police charges pending, I'm not drinking in the Kings. In fact, I'm in the mood not to drink there again for a goodly long while, or certainly not on a Saturday night.

I suppose I should do something with my day and maybe even invest some time in getting off my proverbial derriere and try to I don't know talk to girls or something but ugh, it's just hard work...

Oh and I'm gonna stick a plug on here for http://www.foundationlotuschild.org/ - Carrie's charity. She's gonna do awesome things, check it out and if you can, donate.

My new theory of injury energy.

2009-02-03T12:32:00.000-08:00

Hmm. It's Tuesday, it's -2 outside and I've just gone down the club to get some physio. And I've realised that actually, as I approach 30 I'm getting old. Luckily it's not the steady steam of Alzeimers awareness campaigns that are being shat out ad nauseam by the media (I haven't got that far yet). But, it's certainly true that the knocks take longer to heal. To the extent that now, just as new energy is never really created in the universe (GCSE Physics, folks!) then no new injuries are created on the body of Karl Harris. Healing them simply moves them elsewhere!

Still, hamstring is better tonight. Hopefully I won't be limping around the office like Herr Flick from Allo Allo tomorrow!

After 8 months it really is time to blog again

2009-02-02T14:43:00.000-08:00

Hi there, I don't really know if anybody really reads this anymore. Well probably not in fact, 8 months is an awfully long time to not write anything.

What's happened to me in that time?

Readers Digest version:

I 'may' have grown up a little. Yes, there are still some massive caveats, I still chase an egg-shaped ball most Saturdays and definitely still read comic books but I don't know, maybe as the times have changed, I've changed.

I'm finally working again! After a wicked Summer putting up marquees (mainly lots of gags about erections), I had a few very depressing months on the dole and now I'm back, temping at a major regional food retailer in their head office. Everyone's been very Co-operative and in many ways its an organisation I believe in, with some genuinely altrusitic and left wing views.

The Warriors have started winning again (this for me is a huge thing as I'm currently not only playing but am first XV manager so spend most of my week acting as a glorified Mum/ Girlfriend/ boss to about 20 blokes I consider to be amongst the best mates a guy could have).

I've toyed with a number of foreign travel options, either back to Vietnam to help my friend Carrie with her plans over there (I'll blog about her charity some point soon - it's amazing some of the stuff that girl has done already and she's barely started!), or going to Brazil to work with street kids in the Rio favellas but at the moment the grim reality is that I just can't flash the cash. I've already sold off nearly every second rate comic book series I've bought over the past few years (and there have been some turkeys!) but have pretty much reached the point where I can't sell anymore (although I do still think about selling my Complete Age of Apocalypse v1-4 but, ultimately nostalgia for the first X-over event of comicdom keeps me away from that).

I spend less time hovering on CBR which is weird. Its not quite the same for me on there these days, a few people who I used to talk to loads aren't on there as much and I'm just not as up on my X-lore as some of the others on there these days. I guess its like when you see a group of your school mates in the local, you pop over and have a pint it starts off great and then there's just a long, almost pregnant pause and you wander off and get your coat.

I was also in danger of turning 30 and still living with my Mum and Dad. Luckily this has been averted and I'm pleased to say I'm moving out at the weekend which will be great.

I'm also trying to do 'stuff' to 'help' people. It's not just money, it's actions, it's keeping a positive outlook on life and generally not being a prick. I've kind of come to realise that maybe that's the most important thing of all in this world obsessed with 'things'.

Ciao for now

Melon

Random Musings and how a whole lot can happen in 3 months.

2008-06-29T05:56:00.000-07:00

So, last time I posted, I was on hols in Thailand.

Now I've been back 6 weeks, have a job putting up marquees and managed to fall in love in Vietnam with the most simply beautiful girl I ever met in my life. Heck, I think I might even have found God.

Sadly, I'm not gonna talk about that stuff 'cos well its private. But, what I am gonna talk about is the negativity I've come back to since I've been back in the UK.

It's a sad thing to say, but having seen a decent section of the world and met some truly amazing people, it sickens me how lazy and happy to whinge everyone is over here.

I don't know when moaning became the acceptable response to absolutely everything but, I'm pretty certain, we've been put on this planet to you know, get of our collective arses and do something.

Instead, we have this blame culture where nothing's anyone's fault, it's all either the government or big business, or in fact, absolutely everyone's responsibility but their own. Here's the truth for all of you people, all those bodies are is groups of people. Get of your asses, take some responsibility and take some action to change. Ignorance and Inaction are the biggest crimes in the world today. So why not take some positive action to change?

Hmm a long overdue update!

2008-03-28T03:03:00.000-07:00

Ñow then, when we last spoke I was just leaving Malaysia. Since then I've spent a month in Thailand, mostly doing the Islands and have now been in Cambodia for half of my week long stay here!

First I have to apologise for not blogging more but actually my journal's in an even worse state right now!

Lets see, I continued to spend my first week or so in Thailand travelling with Neil and Leanne on the Islands of Phuket (don't bother, its shit and full of pikey twats), Phi Phi (Same same but different - actually not true on first impression but when I returned definitely so).

The one thing that did happen in Phuket on our first evening was our complete inability to find a bar. Having been excited by the sight of some Neon Lights I soon realised that there are approximately 2 kinds of business that have neon lights outside, Bars and of course, Neon Light shops. Sadly, this was the later. We did immediately afterwards find the world's most random bar, run in some Chinese dude's living room which was a shrine to Jazz and on our first arrival didn't sell beer - luckily he sent his wife to get some. It was all very strange. We also dealt (for what wouldn't be the first time) with the futility in booking rooms in advance in Thailand. Suffice to say the rooms we were told we had had mysteriously been sold. Gotta love those Thais!

After an amusing day on the beach followed by our first experience of the seedy world of pickup bars (not literally - don't worry Mum!) we headed to Phi Phi, where tourism has basically destroyed the beautiful island used as the basis of the appalling book to film conversion of Alex Garland's excellent debut novel The Beach. Can't really complain about where I stayed, it was easily the nicest (but commensurately most expensive) place I'd stayed in. After a night with friends, Paul and Natalie where I got inappropriately drunk on Sansung Buckets (Thai Whiskey - imagine Single Malt, well its nothing like that, imagine petrol diluted by dirty dish water and you're nearer the mark mixed with the very dubious Thai Redbull which evidence seemed to back-up may have contained amphetamines). Next day was nearly a write off. I went to the viewpoint looking over the whole island before managing to get stuck in the middle of the biggest cloudburst I think I'd ever seen. Water was literally running down the streets. So after that I essentially laid on my bed, watched telly, listened to my now dead ipod by plugging it into the wall (how practical!) and set about planning how I was gonna 'do' (rah rah Travelling) Cambodia Vietnam and Laos (Admittedly the plan has changed approximately 37 times since then but that session laid out the bare bones!) Oh in the evening it was off to the tourist muay thai which was hilarious but the real highlight was the WWE muay thai show at the end of the night - just too funny.

Next it was off to Krabi town, the maintown on the South West Thai coast to meet me old mucker from school Gemma. Three days, 1 night in Krabi, 2 in the nearby coastal resort (and full of irritating cock-jock wearing swedes) pf Ao Nang. Most of you have seen the photos on Facebook and given that it was Gemma's last weekend before heading back to the Woodbridge mothership, you will no doubt have heard her recount many of the tales of chaos that transpired there - suffice to say, I picked up a new travelling companion, the world's largest and least practical travelling cuddly toy, Terrence the bear. He's cool.

After that, I spent one of the worst days of my life stuck on a bus and boat surrounded by people from the one nation on earth that you can't criticise otherwise you'll be accussed of being one of the worst things imaginable. Suffice to say, they were loud, rude, pushy and didn't shut the fuck up for about 15 hours. My travellers calm was lost that day. Certainly went I got to my destination. Koh Samui, what a shit hole. Imagine breeding Playa de Las Americas with Blackpool and the back of Kings Cross station and thats what this shitty little hole is like. The most blatant examples of ripoff Thai entrepeneurship also occured on this island. Still, first night, met back up with Paul and Nat and Neil and Leanne for Neils birthday where we watched Muay Thai. Hilarious. Especially the Swedish girl from Contender Asia who got the shit kicked out of her!

Anyway, I had one day left on Koh Samui and as it happened I met up with me old mucker and buddy from home Bex Bostock, who was about to become my travel buddy for the next fortnight or so. A very funny night consisting of good food, and a Sham Rock show (you should see the video clips) before retiring ahead of an early depart for Ko Phangan.

I left Bex on the boat heading to Ko Tao and I jumped on the back of a pickup truck and headed to the Coco-hut resort, where I met PNNL. First day consisted of a lot of comedy pool action - including the 70's disco dance a few beers and some DVD's. Second night was the Black Moon Party. I was utterly boxed got a Superman logo painted on my chest and proceeded to sing all 182 verses of Chicago to the world and his dog. I also met a massive prick from Leeds. I wanted to break his face.

Then, off to Ko Tao. Met Bex, slightly off the beaten track where we stayed for about 6 nights. We met randoms, weird randoms, and disturbing randoms oh and a lot of ladyboys. But, Ko Tao was easily my favourite place on this trip. Cheap food, friendly people and the majestic bay where frankly you could sit down and swim on the beach all day. Shame!

Argh I grow tired of this.

Next up Krabi again Koh Lanta, Krabi again, Bangkok, Siem Reap, plenty of shits and not quite as many giggles.

Oh and next stop for me after Phenom Penh is Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam - Bring it on!

Malaysia

2008-02-23T18:33:00.000-08:00

So I'm in Malaysia now, on the island of Penang.

Quite simply, Malaysians are the nicest people in the world. Yes, one or two will try to con you (like the "Yoggi man" I called a "F***ing snake oil merchant" the other day, and the numerous requests I've had to help people with visas - yeah, right). But, on the whole they're a wonderful people and the cultural merging of India, China and the natural Malay culture makes for wonderful - and cheap food! Seriously, my dinner last night cost about 60p.

Awesome!

Comics related - warning those of you who think I'm sad. Like I care.

2008-02-23T18:28:00.000-08:00

Buy this, that is all.

And it's written by Paul Cornell who's written some of the best Dr Who episodes of recent years, including the 2 parter last season set in the public school with the Doctor becoming human and the excellent Jekyll which graced BBC TV shortly afterwards.

Farewell Honkers - it was truly Bonkers.

2008-02-17T08:47:00.000-08:00

Wow,

What a town Hong Kong was!

From the utter crazyness of Mong Kok and the old town, with its "bird market" "goldfish market" and other random places, to the sheer obsession with shops.

Walking past shops selling birds nests, and other "delicacies"; the sheer obsession with capitalism that puts the US to shame; the rudeness of the people; watching people gamble like idiots in Macau; The Giant Buddha, perhaps the least spiritual place I've ever been too!

So much to say, it's a crazy place and well worth spending a week in if you're out that way!

Big thanks of course to Mylo for putting me up for a week and being a great host! And of course to the boys and "ladies" of Kowloon Rugby Club who made me so welcome both on and off the field. The Miss Kowloon contest has left many scars, thats all I really care to divulge right now!

So goodbye Australia.

2008-02-09T00:07:00.000-08:00

Hmm its time to leave. Feels weird the whole idea of getting on a plane again after 2 months. It's weird. I've actually gotten so used to Australia. The other day for example, I walked around a museum, barefoot, with a stinger suit up to my waist, topless wearing only a hat and aviators.

Heck I find myself sat here at 6:10pm on a laptop in shorts, thongs and a VB beater like its the most natural thing in the world!

There are some things I'm not gonna miss about Australia though:

1) The general rudeness of the blokes
2) The strange obsession with the song "The Piano-man"
3) Greyhound drivers - are they really old or is it just the toughest job in the world? - so weather beaten!
4) Backpacker bars. These places are the scummiest places on earth, making student nights seem somehow flash!

Things I am gonna miss:

1) The Ocean
2) The sun - apparently HK's really cold right now!

The highlights? Oh there've been many, from being asked alongside my cousin Stu if we were a "couple of poofters" in the ironically named "Port Fairy", to trying to hitch a lift home on Fraser Island with my tour guide whilst in an extreme state of consciousness on Australia Day and proceeding to have an in depth discussion of the life and works of the Thievery Corporation with anyone who we could find with a ute!

Anyway, I'm off to Hong Kong tomorrow following what is bound to be a fun night of sleep at Cairns airport! Apparently it's cold! But, I've got a rugby game lined up hopefully. Eek! Should be good though, then off to Kuala Lumpur (or "oompah" as we prefer to call it_. I'm Horse confident that it'll all be apples!

Hoa boy this place just keeps getting better.

2008-02-01T18:23:00.001-08:00

So after the excellence that was Fraser Island (seriously, every bit a beautiful as the eponymous 'they' say). It was off to the Whitsundays fro an awesome 3 days of sailing and nights of sleeping on the deck and general boozyness (bekark has gone global folks!)

Anyway, back on dry land, it's raining (again) it's mid afternoon and I'm trying to work out where on earth I'm gonna be able to watch the England game tonight.

Oh and tomorrow I'm on a bus all day. Doh! This country gets better and better the further north you go though!

Noosa

2008-01-25T01:22:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess that's it for surfing from me. Having become mildly proficient at not falling over too much and even 'standing up' on occasion!

Noosa's a lovely little town - possibly my favourite place in Oz so far. Really chilled little hostel and lots of decent people. But the bar in town is horrific. Went there last night, not realising that when one of the girls I was with said 'yeah you've gotta be pretty drunk to enjoy this place' quite how drunk that meant. Suffice to say, several Jaegerbombs had no effect other than to give me a 'long dark night of the soul' at around 3-4 am local time causing me to consider phoning basically everyone. Luckily, not many people endured a phonecall from over-tired philosophical Harris!

Anyway, Fraser Island tomorrow for Australia day. It's gonna be good. I hope!!!!!!

Eek I'd almost forgotten I had this!

2008-01-22T01:54:00.000-08:00

Well I'm in Brisbane, and not a huge amount to report really. I've just had an excellent week long break from hostels, staying with the family near Surfers. The weather's improved somewhat and Brisbane although not brimming with activities is the city I could most see myself living in of all the ones I've visited.

Why

1 - well the river is exactly like London, except the boats are cheap!!!!!

2 - The girls are unbelieveable.

In balance, 2's more of a swinger for me. But, the bad news:

The comic store is woeful.

Oh well, win some lose some I guess!

Australia, land of surf and sunshine.

2008-01-04T23:14:00.000-08:00

Or not, having finally left Sydney with the intention of learning to surf before I reached Surfer's Paradise, I find myself in the middle of a rainstorm and high pressure cyclone. Which means lots of rain and no surf.

So, I'm spending a lot of time visiting sights and walking along the ocean, looking at the water. It's all getting highly, highly frustrating!

I'm in Port Macquarie which is a lovely little seaside town for the next day or so, it's got a Koala hospital (cue excrutiateingly sick photo opportunities!) then I'm on to Coff's Harbour, land of the Giant Banana, before a few days in Byron and then I'm on the Gold Coast. Woo hoo!

PS I appreciate Australia's in the midst of a massive drought so don't despise them for rain!

Wild Horses.

2007-12-30T22:16:00.000-08:00

Wild Horses, couldn't drag Mick Jagger away in perhaps one of the most beautiful pop songs ever written. Heck, the Sunday's cover at the end of that Buffy ep is pretty beautiful too.

Well, in hindsight, Wild Horses couldn't drag me away from where I am now. As I look back on 2007, the amusingly self-proclaimed 'year of the melon'. I think about where I am now and how whilst it isn't where I imagined I'd be 12 months back it's still pretty awesome.

See I've learnt a lot this year, from a lot of different people, from Eddie and the rugby boys to my family, to the people I've met on this trip to my fellow comic nerds on CBR, I've learnt something from pretty much every single one of you.

Well, this is where I say thank you. And I mean it. I've been to some funny places this year, physically, emotionally and mentally. Without the love, strength and support of you guys I wouldn't be where I am today.

All I can say, I've learnt a lot about myself in 2007. 2008 is the year I try to make a difference to other people. I'm not sure how yet and I'm sure to make some mistakes along the way. See I remember the 80's He-man and the Masters of the Universe. They had a saying 'we don't say good-bye, we say good journey'. And there's a truth in that and I guess to all of you I hope your journey through 2008 takes you where you want to go. If it doesn't then make the most of what's in front of you, whoever you are, wherever you are, there are people who love you and that's pretty much the most important thing and the best feeling there is.

Peace out, happy new year, enjoy 2008, live it like its your last.

XXXX

Karl

Uluru

2007-12-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

I could just right Wow here because it really was wow.

I could come up with something deep and meaningful about how when we're all gone the big red rock will still be there.

I could be moan the tourists and the ridiculous amount of cash I had to shell out.

Instead, I'm just gonna settle on the memories.

Wow.

My farcical Christmas.

2007-12-24T18:28:00.000-08:00

So, it's 13:30 here in Sydney, a time when most of the civilised world would be tucking into turkey veges and all the trimmings. Not I for I have just been on one of the most farcical trips of all time.

Yes, Wake Up backpackers thought it would be a good idea to charge a non-refundable $25 for essentially a plate of cold meats and a bus to Bondi beach. Now I wasn't expecting much after last night's equally fucking gash (pardon my language but I'm on a tirade here) boat trip around the harbour. But, I was expecting to be able to drink the BYO booze I'd bought with my own money in the place. Alas no, as apparantly in a minor technical omission, you can't drink ANYWHERE on Bondi on Xmas day and the bacon closed us down. Not that I blame them, they were only doing their job!

So, in the absence of that we had the option of either going on a bus and paying to go to another beach where you could drink. Or go to some wholly undersold rave where oh there's no BYO and pay to enjoy your booze whilst listening to shit house and probably a reasonable amount of reggae.

As is, I'm gonna just Grinch around for the day.

If they don't let me watch Lizzy's speech I'm going medieval though.

Woah, long time no blog.

2007-12-21T15:55:00.000-08:00

Apologies for the lack of update for a while folks.

I find myself in the warm wet confines of Sydney. Yup, it's raining. I'm not feeling remotely Christmassy either. Although, we did have a whole day of sunshine yesterday and my farmer tan has migrated towards a wife beater tan!

Oh and I'm running. LOTS. Went for a glorious 1 hour run today round the Botanical Gardens, Opera House, Rocks, up some hills, round Darling Harbour, through Chinatown and home (I also passed at least 12 Tabs but sadly not a single drive in off-licence). It hurt a lot. I don't think I've run for more than an hour since the Great North Run over 7 years ago!!!!!

Oh and I've lost nearly two stone. Many are imploring an early return for rugby tour which I am SERIOUSLY considering.

Hopefully I'll start feeling more Chingy today when I go to Sydney's largest open air carol service. If not, I'll probably just get drunk and phone Jenks, whilst singing Fairy Tale of New York to him - it's something of a tradition.

Leaving NZ

2007-12-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

All I can say is this country has been immense. As I enter my final 24 hrs in the country I find myself back in Christchurch and getting ready for some Priscilla (that's chow to the rest of you bar Mike who probably gets the reference)with some of the people I've met on route.

I went to the Antarctic centre today and feel inspired to read about Scott of the Antarctic, so you all know what to buy me for my birthday!

Leaving Queenstown

2007-12-05T13:13:00.000-08:00

Okay so I'm well into my last 24 hours in Queenstown and what for me has been the highlight of my trip to New Zealand. This town is awesome. For one thing, it's the home of adventure sports. Okay so all I've done here is my bungy and the slightly crazy luge thing but you really can do anything here.

The nightlife by NZ standards is pretty good too. That for me has been the weird thing about NZ - it's so quiet. But I've enjoyed that.

The scenery here is beautiful - there's a reason why it's pretty much NZ's no1 ski destination in the winter. Although I did find Milford Sound a little disappointing. I don't think that's the kind of thing you're allowed to say in public here!

Oh and Fergburgers. Comfortably the greatest burger I've ever eaten. Take that Americanians.

I've also met some truly amazing people here.

This place has rocked.

Next I'm off to Dunedin where the major purpose of my 2 days is to find a bar showing the Hatton fight, then a little place to chill called Lake Tekapo for 2 days and the Christchurch. After which I'm off to Aus, which I'm really looking forward to now. I'm currently reading Bill Bryson's Down Under book and I'm sorry to admit I like it. Bill Bryson is the kind of man I try to hate but, this is the first book of his I've actually bothered to read and it's pretty good.

Peace out.

Melon

Queenstown

2007-12-01T14:28:00.000-08:00

This place is pretty crazy.

I've got my bungy jump booked - why for reasons of male ego I feel compelled to do one which is 3 times higher than the one I looked at yesterday I don't know. It's gonna be stoopid. I'm also probably gonna white water raft and go in a jet boat whilst I'm here. It's comfortably gonna be the most expensive leg of the entire world trip but a big part of me doesn't worry about that!

I went to the infamous "The World" bar last night. Gotta say it was a leeetle disappointing. Just full of drunken english 18 year olds called Tarquin and Henry.

Franz Josef.

2007-11-30T02:44:00.001-08:00

I just climbed a frikkin' glacier. Awesome!

Oh and Kayaking photos up on Facebook. This place has been immense - if pricey! I worry it's only getting worse with Queenstown round the corner!

If I'm this drunk....

2007-11-28T02:54:00.000-08:00

Then oh boy. Poor bus driver. Tomorrow's gonna be nasty.

I should try and update this more really. Tomorrow I head to the Franz Josef glacier. I'm gonna climb up it and stuff. Today I strolled around the tiny touwn of Greymouth, went on a brewery tour and drank booze - a lot of it, with the guy who's supposed to be driving us all to Queenstown. Oh and German girls love the game of Bekark. Whodda thunked it?

Ciao for now.

short update

2007-11-24T15:31:00.000-08:00

aka - another bloody amazing view - prepare to be bored one and all upon my return.

In other news - I threw myself out of a plane 2 days ago and today I hit the South Island. C'est l'awesome.

Rotorua.

2007-11-21T11:11:00.000-08:00

In the local brogue, the past two days in Rotorua have been sweet as. Having met my bus (I was the only unmarried boy on it - oh the shame!) Proceeded down to Waitomo where we did some black water rafting (imagine mid 80's Atari game Toobin - in the dark). They also told us about the Maori myth of the Tunnifar which the way our Dutch guides were saying it kept sounding like 'Fanny fart'.

Then yesterday I went zorbing. Awesome. I've got a vid of me basically going 'off piste' despite my recent extreme weightloss which I will post to Farcebook before Chrimbo I promise.

Oh and last night I went to a maori dinner. I was made an honorary chief purely on account of the fact that I played rugby. I didn't mention I'm shite.

Today I'm off to Taupo and weather permitting in the next two days will throw myself out of a perfectly good airplane from 12,000 ft.

Oh and I've discovered the words 'Richie McCaw crying' effectively end any argument. Admittedly they end by you getting punched but its funny nonetheless.

Auckland is such a pleasant place

2007-11-18T23:47:00.000-08:00

1. They drive on the right or left hand side of the road.
2. They say please and thank you
3. They have a real national game (even if bottling it is a national art form).
4. It's clean.

That pretty much sums up the differences with LA there.

There are still plenty of fitties walking around!

All goes a bit Avid Merrion.

2007-11-16T16:05:00.000-08:00

Yes, Hollywood is a confusing place and at some kind of event at some theatre last night, I spotted the following (ranked in order of awesomeness)

The Heroes girls (Ali Larter and the one who it was unacceptable to fancy when she was 6 in remember the titans)

R&B singer Brandy

Mario Lopez - aka AC Slater from saved by the bell

Seal and his stunning wife Heidi Klum

Eva Longoverexposedoria

and some middle aged bints from Britain called the spice girls

and the bloke who played Dawson in Dawson's Creek - it turns out I still want to punch him in the head.

It all went a little Gomez.

2007-11-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

Went to Tijuana yesterday full of good intentions. Ended up in bed by 9pm.

If anyone could fill in the blanks for me I'd be grateful.

In other news - I'm off to LA in like half an hour. It's gonna be tough cos San Diego has been absolutely amazing.

San Diego Zoo

2007-11-12T17:30:00.000-08:00

Is probably the best zoo I've ever been to. That is all - Panda's and Polar Bears.

Oh and I saw a news van. I think I was the only person who found it remotely funny.

In other news, American food has brought on a case of what can only be described as gut rot. There I was hoping I could wait until Thailand for that.

People I've pissed off so far...

2007-11-10T17:09:00.000-08:00

1. Half of the New York Fire Department. There was some competition on in Vegas and they're all pretty buff guys. I made the obvious statement that they clearly get that way because they have too much time on their hands. That went well.

2. Some old and I mean old geezer in my last youth hostel who I told to STFU when going on about how America won WWII for us. I thought people like that had all been shot. He was like 80. I would have still laid him out if I hadn't walked away.

3. Most of the boyfriends of Vegas. It's not my fault I'm funnier, better looking and have a quirkier accent than them and their birds all loved me (not literally sadly - coulda gotten messy). It's not my fault that they all insist on wearing baseball caps backwards, 3/4 trousers and bad sportswear is it?

In other news, went to a club last night. The barman bought me a beer when I compared the music selection to that of a shit 70's wedding.

Saw the Grand Canyon today. Pretty big - almost too big to register in some ways.

Tomorrow - the long long drive to San Diego. Wish me luck!

Proof of God's existence or Heaven and Hell in the US?

2007-11-09T07:57:00.000-08:00

Deep and meaningful title to a blog entry I realise but, it's really the only way I can compare my previous two destinations.

First, there was Yosemite, perhaps the most beautiful place I've ever visited (yes, even more beautiful than the crisp turf of Hatchley Barn on a balmy August afternoon). I spent Wednesday on a 16 mile hike up what is affectionately known as the half dome. This is a tough trail, most of which was closed in winter but I pressed on until about 100 metres from the summit, when I felt myself lose a footing and thought mother wouldn't like me dieing up here, so I turned around (which involved going down stairs on my bum - doh!). But on that whole sunrise - sunset hike I saw maybe six people. It was beautiful and for the first time in as long as I can remember I heard silence. I also answered a personal mystery by finding some bear shit but I guess that's a story for another day. Up there, even a kinda atheist like me found some majesty in the beauty of the place that made me kinda think there might be a God.

Compare that to Vegas, the over blown, flaccid definition of modern America. No disrespect to anyone, I have met before and during this trip some genuinely lovely Americans who have respect for other people and the world around them. Those kinda people however, don't come to Vegas. I have on the other hand seen some awesome mullets and shit haircuts that I'm trying to get photos of for a rather special little facebook album. Having said that, Vegas is fun. In small doses, like an over large Blackpool that takes itself to seriously. I'm glad I've come here but I doubt I'll be rushing back.

That's all for today folks.

Day 3 update

2007-11-05T16:56:00.000-08:00

So today I did Alcatraz. Wow. Really good, well worth the $20 and one of the most interesting tours I've ever done. Quite moving in places which was a little surprising!

In other news, 3 days in and I'm starting to look like a backpacker. This disturbs me. Today the 'magic trousers' were in 3/4 mode all day, despite it being quite chilly. But, I was wearing the cock of the tour shirt all day so this probably excuses me!

Tomorrow, Yosemite, whilst some would hope for small, moustachioed, rabbit killing cowboys, I'm hoping for some hills.

Oh and may I warn you all before you come here. American canned lager is a joke. It's horrific. 6 'cans' of Coors Light last night and this morning I wake up with a chemical hangover. Can't be a real one given how I actually felt fine ALL last night.

Bicycles - an instruement of the devil?

2007-11-04T13:51:00.000-08:00

So I've just peddled 20 miles across the golden gate bridge and to a little town called Tiburon where I got the ferry back. Before I could do this though I peddled through the San Francisco equivalent of the Great north run, which was very random - well, actually it was a half marathon. There was no Garth Crooks, no Sir Jimmy Saville and absolutely no-one dressed up as Mr Blobby. Whilst this disappointed me it didn't surprise me because it was so bloody warm!

Alcatraz is all paid for for tomorrow (both ways before anyone asks). And now I'm off to march around and look at more things to take random, poorly laid out photographs of.

Okay so running on UK time is very bad

2007-11-04T05:41:00.000-08:00

Hmm its 5.30 am I'm still on funking UK time.

After a few beers last night watching rugby for girls (american football) with a girl who looked a lot like Jack Bauer's daughter (and was even less accessible). I realised why this city looked so familiar. That's right, Grand Theft sodding auto. Gah.

Anyway. I'm up stupidly early am still struggling with the intricacy of the bunk bed dismount (those of you who were on tour to Amsterdam will remmember that particular delight. And am readyu to spend a day peddling around the city on a bike. My prediction for the day to quote Clubber Lang "pain". Oh and irritatingly the last two minutes of Die Hard 4 were turned off on my flight so we could land. Yippe Kay STFU stewardess.

San Fran - early thoughts

2007-11-03T17:48:00.000-07:00

So I've been here for a couple of hours now, and in that time I have concluded:\\

1 - I'm gonna struggle with Youth Hostels

2 - Fisherman's Wharf is a lot like Felixstowe

3 - I've found a sunglasses place like that shitty place in Tower Ramparts. Am I missing something here?

Leaving on a jet plane

2007-11-02T03:30:00.000-07:00

So it's come to this, I'm sat at work exactly 24 hours away from my flight to San Francisco. Really I just wanted to take the time to say a few words to everyone who's been there for me the past few months and years and to everyone whose support I have valued so strongly.

To the Boys:

Hoppy - Keep control of that budget
Eddie - Avoid those yellow cards
Big Show - Get over that Manbola - and soon!
OG - Please still be drinking in Woodbridge when I get back
Wooders - keep plugging away and keep the boys motivated and in EC1!!!
Ali - Do what you've got to do man. Oh and let me know how you get on with that stuff I sent you on email
Matt Mc - you know what you've gotta do - and I expect to have to work like a Mofo to get my spot back from you come September!

To everyone else from the team - good luck, Saturdays are gonna be horrible for me these next few months!

To the Girls:

Laura - be there when I get back - please!
Milldown K - expect Speedo shots soon!
Bex - not wanting to wish my trip away but Thailand can't come soon enough!
Faye - do what you need to do - I'm always on the end of an email
Becca - see you in Sydney!
Tammie & Kassie - look after the boys for me!

To the CBRians:

Brian M - don't get perma banned
Cayman - Florida/ wherever will come!
Dagger - OMGROFLOROXXORS
Pete - Peace and fucking, yeah?

And to the rest of you - no Messiah Complex spoilers!!!!

Oh and the rest of you, stay classy!

Travel Prep

2007-11-01T03:39:00.000-07:00

Arrgh - so much to do it's unbelievable.

Rucksack is packed nearly, money is all in place. Accomodation is booked. But, I've noticed a trend. Insurance, check. Car hire, check. Visas - well, kinda, check.

First, fires in San Diego,
Second - yesterday's earthquakes in San Fransisco.

What else is gonna happen and am I somehow an augur of the Apocalypse?

[token comic reference]I don't mean like Archangel either - cos he was rubbish[/token comic reference]

Dynamo 5 or why should I give this comic another chance?

2007-10-25T01:34:00.000-07:00

So after much pimping by fellow CBRians I finally received my copy of the first trade (comprising issues 1-7) of this new series last night.

For those unfamiliar with the premise of the book, Captain Dynamo was the cities greatest protector (think superman archetype) with 5 powers, Telepathy, Flight, Superstrength, Shapeshifting and Laser vision. He was also a little bit of a dirty dog in the sack.

Upon his death (left as a bit of a dangling plot point), his widow seeks out his 5 illigitimate children and ensures that they can carry on his legacy. Each has one of his powers and it's a typical coming of age saga as the 5 kids struggle to work as a team whilst coming to terms with their own issues.

The pros:

There are some unusual power dynamics here - for example, the telepath in the Parkman from heroes role is a bit stupid. He's also a linebacker for his high school football team and wants to give people a bit of biff - that's quite a clever thought out idea. In addition, the seemingly most creative of the team is the bruiser and female.

The art's good, dynamic, striking and clean.

In 7 issues, we get a good feel for the dynamics of the team and Dynamo's widow in the Professor X meets Nick Fury meets Emma Frost role, whilst looking like Dr Leslie from Batman is pretty complex as characters go.

Each story is kinda self-contained

The book has a nice quasi-silver age vibe to it

It's a lot of FUN.

The cons:

I know Image are publishing shorter books these days at $1.99 but, even legislating for that, the book feels short, yet without feeling decompressed. Whilst a lot seems to happen, it doesn't feel particularly deep and is over far too quickly (I have only read it once, very late last night - I should caveat!)

Robert Kirkman writes the forward - I can't stand Kirkman - at least there aren't any zombies in it yet!

There's no sense of peril at any point. For me, one of the most exciting things about new books in recent years (I'm keeping it fairly Marvel Centric here) such as Avengers: The Initiative, New X-men, The Order, X-Statix, Winnickxiles, New Warriors, is that anyone can die. Well, for a new book, it just doesn't have that peril.

Also, is it an all ages book, as it feels, or is it an adult book. To me it feels like it sits uncomfortably in between at the moment.

All in all, I enjoyed the book and will stick with it for another arc. What it did, it did well, but there's no imagination in it beyond the initial premise and no real sense of peril. I think this book can do well but needs to find its feet a little more.

Verdict: I'll give it another trade to pick up.

Funny - thanks to Becca

2007-10-24T03:17:00.001-07:00

Yup it's a slow day

Next time you’re on an elevator and feel a little bored, liven up the moment with some of these insightful ideas. Guaranteed to make heads turn or your money back.
1. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
4. Swat at flies that don’t exist.
5. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
6. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
7. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
8. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.
9. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
10. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
11. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
12. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space!”
14. Fart loudly then exclaim “Was that you. There’s no way I could do that one because infuriately mine don’t come out loud.”
15. Before the elevator door opens shout “DING” and then laugh and say “beat you again Mr. Elevator.”
16. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
17. Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger’s direction.
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “that’s mine!”
19. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
20. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.

So, 2 weeks after my last update...

2007-10-22T04:06:00.000-07:00

And my comics finally arrived. This is after 3 aggressive phone calls to an incompetent on line sci-fi and comics retailer and constant pleads of ignorance by the semi-literate too thick fucktard who probably couldn't get on a YTS scheme to work anywhere else. Heck, he probably reads and enjoys the Punisher and Shanna the She-devil comics.

Anyway, 203 was excellent. Ramos' art worked (in my mind - if no-one elses!) And it showed the two stars (IMO) of Carey's run, Cannonball and Iceman at their very best.

But, Sinister psychic powers. Gah. I hate this idea (although it has happened elsewhere apparently) and makes him seem like a complete deus ex character.

Oh and in other news, we lost the World Cup final. A shame for sure but, what a run we had in this tournament when it completely wasn't expected.

Rugby World Cup - In Jonny we trust.

2007-10-15T02:15:00.000-07:00

So, somehow its happened.

We've made another final thanks to the beautiful Jonny Wilkinson.

How, I don't know. I really don't. Having watched every game in this World Cup, we've been at best mediocre and now we're in the final.

In playing South Africa we must be the underdogs. But, ooh that front row.

I've got a bet going with the team that if we win I'm gonna get a Sheridan style fad e and Kimber's gonna shave his head!

Anyway, get yourselves down to the club on Saturday afternoon for what is sure to be an evening to shout about, if nothing else!

Oh and my pirate pubcrawl starts immediately afterwards!

The Last Man - Why oh Y

2007-10-11T02:26:00.000-07:00

So I've finally - after incessant pimping by friends discovered this comics gem.

Having found a book token in my wallet yesterday I bought volumes 1 - 3 of this epic, funny, witty, post-modern, brilliant book. One trade in and I'm hooked.

Go buy this today - don't wait for the movie - it'll never do the original justice.

(well it might, but that's not the point).

About my last post.

2007-10-09T08:23:00.001-07:00

My excitement has been scuppered by the royal mail going on strike. One week one and my books still haven't arrived. Arseholes.

Comics Today

2007-10-04T03:57:00.000-07:00

So I have like the smallest bundle of comics I can ever remember waiting for me at home!

X-men 203 - Can't wait - loving the direction but I do feel the conclusion to the Blinded by the Light arc is going to be weak and Messiah Complex build up.

Uncanny 491 - see above but replace words "Blinded by the Light" with "The Extremists".

Exiles 99 - its gonna be a car crash but Clayton Henry's on art so that should redeem it slightly.

Getting Smashed.

2007-10-03T02:35:00.003-07:00

Hoah Boy.

The yawnfest piece of Rumbler Fanwank that has been World War Hulk is almost over.

Here's hoping the Golden Guardian of Good smashes the Hulk in the final issue.

However, given that this has so far been the most predictable comic book story of pretty much all time, I'd be willing to bet that the Void comes along and Hulk ends up smashing him and in fact not being a big green murderous scum bag. BORING.

2007-10-03T02:35:00.001-07:00

What I'm reading right now.

2007-10-03T02:25:00.000-07:00

For some reason work isn't letting me blog from Imageshack. Help people?

Anyway, as is fairly well known. I hate the concept of Marvel Zombies. Mainly because of that comicbook butcher, Robert Kirkman.

But, this book is harrowing, realistic and a very human tale. It's really not a zombie book, they're a plot device. It's an excellent reportage of the best and worst of humanity told from a compelling eye-witness narrative.

Can't recommend this enough.

Help me fellow Bloggers, you're my only hope.

2007-09-28T03:09:00.000-07:00

Warum ist meine log auf Deutsch?

Help, why is my blog in German?

Yet another dull and tedious Halo 3 update.

2007-09-28T01:35:00.000-07:00

I was lied to. It still hasn't arrived. I'm hoping it'll be tonight but there's the dilemma.

Tonight, England v Tonga at the rugby club
Tomorrow I'm playing
Tomorrow night - 10 year school reunion night (which is probably worthy of a whole post in itself - gah its gonna be cringetastic. I might just pretend to be gay.)

When am I ever gonna play this frikkin' thing?

Brubaker and Epting's Captain America

2007-09-27T04:47:00.000-07:00

[img]http://nineteenthirtynine.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/Capfire.jpg[/img]

So I have finally gotten round to reading the first 25 issues of this run in the glorious omnibus format.

Hoah boy, this is without a doubt the most carefully crafted arc of a comic book I've read for years.

Let's start with the positives (I'm gonna assume everyone's read this so no apologies for spoilers):

The Art - Epting's artwork has been hit and miss for me over the years but here there are clear lines, dynamic action scenes and genuine emotions shown on the faces of the characters (his Sin, is particularly unnerving given just how CUTE she looks)

The Story - Bru's a master storyteller at the moment. I've followed him since his Batman days. His Daredevil is stronger than Bendis' (which in itself was Miller-esque in its goodness) , Immortal Iron Fist is probably the best new book of the past 12 months and Criminal is the best Indie on the shelves right now. I'm reserving judgement on his X-men until Messiah Complex.

But, his Cap just blows us away. He gets Steve Rogers and more importantly, he gets Bucky Barnes (yes, Bucky Barnes - another of the sacred deaths of comics bites the dust) and the dynamic of their relationship. Compare Steve's relationship with Ultimate Cap's relationship with the Wasp - that didn't take long did it. Steve and Sharon's relationship (one-day the Captain America mobile is gonna have one of those gawdy Chav stickers with the names Steve and Sharon on) is believable. Steve feels like a man out of time but, he's so much more. He's a leader. He's torn between his friends and his responsibilities. It's poetry!

His casual use of characters is spot on too. Tony Stark has one appearance in the whole run and it works - he does a more compelling Tony in the build-up to Civil War than pretty much anyone bar the Knauf's have done since. And for the first time in a Marvel book, I get Nick Fury. I've never gotten Nick Fury until reading this book.

He even references his own out of continuity House of M story.

Suffice to say, non-comic reading friends, buy this book. Comic reading friends, buy this book. People who are just casually browsing this blog and don't know me from Adam, buy this book.

That is all.

The Halo 3 Update.

2007-09-27T04:45:00.001-07:00

It's arrived.

I'm at work.

I'm busy

I've got training tonight.

Oh and I've ordered the version that MIGHT include scratched disks as standard. This sorry saga nears its conclusion and I still have nothing better to do.

Halo 3 Rage....

2007-09-26T08:42:00.001-07:00

Why oh why oh why has my copy not arrived yet?

This is too much for me to cope with - my entire week was geared around this game arriving. And it still hasn't arrived. I want to punch the nearest postman!!!!

New trainees - a conspiracy?

2007-09-26T03:12:00.000-07:00

Okay so we've had new trainees at our firm for about a month now and NO-ONE has seen them without their suit jackets off. This makes no sense to me given that most of us don't even bother with ties and slackers like me tend to not even take the jacket out of the car.

What gives?

Do they all have hives?
Are they all David Icke Illuminati Lizard people set on conquering Cambridge's biggest accountancy firm fromwithin?
Are they Skrulls (comic nerd version of above)
Has nobody told them they can take them off?

Chiropracty is a crock?

2007-09-26T01:39:00.001-07:00

Gah. Couldn't train last night. Got my neck and back clicked in and now they hurt more. Argh what figures?

Lewis Moody is not an International 7!!!!!!

2007-09-25T05:36:00.000-07:00

I've been banging on about this for many years now and once again, Grandad Ashton had understood that like every coach ever, he has no understanding of backrow play.

This just irks me. He's a big lumpering lummox who could quite conceivably give away 3 key penalties during the game and kick our sorry arses out of the World Cup a week early.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/7010528.stm

Full article courtesy of the BBC news website.

My Travels.

2007-09-25T03:13:00.001-07:00

Just so you all know and can stop pestering me this is the very rough itinery:

US - Land

San Fran 3 Nov - 6 Nov
Yosemite 7 Nov - 8 Nov
Vegas 9, 10 Nov
Grand Canyon 11 Nov
San Diego 12-15 Nov
LA 16, 17 Nov

then on to NZ for 4 weeks
Australia for like 2 months
Hong Kong for a week
Thailand for 3 months (going out into Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos).

The Blog on the Tyne is all mine all mine

2007-09-25T03:06:00.000-07:00

Random title for a random article.

Anyway, this is my blog.

Essentially this is where I sit and muse during the day, mainly in the mornings when there's jack shit going on on CBR.